and hated you
until her heart bled and there was nothing left…
Rants, Raves & Everything Inbetween
My heart is so big it overflows
with pools of love
strong enough to move mountains
The Daily Post: Think of your longest relationship: describe how your love has changed over time, did you go from the giddiness of infatuation, to mad passion, to deep respect, esteem, and friendship? Tell us about your love story.
My longest relationship has been with my first grown up love. I was 19 and he was 26. He was the first real man to give me attention and I fell head over heels. I tried everything I could to get him to love me like I loved him. But, we were never meant to be. At the time I thought he was all I would ever want but now I am glad that we didn’t survive. If I had stayed with him I would have moved further away from the real me than I am now. He would have ultimately smothered my soul.
Strangely enough we have stayed friends for over 25 years. I was a part of his wedding and he was a part of mine.
Even though we went through a lot of heartache I believe our paths crossed for reason. We’ve been there for each other and learned a lot from each other. We were meant to be friends – the best of friends!
When I told you I thought I was falling in love with you everything changed. I tried to take it back after your reaction but it was too late. In the beginning, you chased me, told me you loved me and wanted me. I told you I didn’t believe you and you kept reeling me in. In that moment I began to believe. I let down my guard and gave you my heart, my body, and my friendship. I even possibly saved your life by convincing you to have a medical test in which they found a mass that I pray is not cancer. After all that, how can you just shut me out and turn your back on me. You promised we would always be friends, “to the grave” you said. What could I have done to make you love me? Did one Careless Whisper ruin everything or were you just never destined to love me for real?